I forgot to mention that on day 67 (Tuesday), I went in for a mammogram. I have not mentioned this certain subject in my blog yet, and I still hesitate to because I don't like talking about it. In December of 2009, I went in for my annual mammogram. This was my 4th one, and all three before that had come out normal. But when I went on for the 4th one, they found something. The horrible thing was, they called me on a Friday and told me I needed to come back and have more pictures taken, but they couldn't see me till the following Tuesday. So, I worried that ENTIRE weekend wondering what was going on.
I went in that following Tuesday and had more pictures and stayed there while the radiologist looked at them. He said these small clusters he found in my right breast should be biopsied and checked for cancer. So the next morning, I went in early and had a needle biopsy done (not fun). I was upset and frazzled for the rest of the day. How could this be happening to me? As far as I knew, there was no history of breast cancer in my family. It would surely come out benign.
The next day, I got a phone call from my primary physician. The second I heard her voice on the phone, I knew it was not good. Normally, the nurse calls you with any info. When the Dr. calls, it is serious. She told me that the biopsy showed that they found a cluster of calcifications and they tested positive for cancer. She immediately scheduled me to see a surgeon because she said that they should remove the tissue surrounding the calcifications to test it.
This was all so surreal. So many things were going through my head. I take great pride in being a good mom, and the first thing that popped into my head was "What about my son?" First of all, I was scared to death to tell him. He is such a sweet and sensitive kid, and he and I are very close and I did not want to worry him. But we are always honest with each other, so when he got home from school that day, I told him. But I also let him know that they caught it very early and it wasn't even at a stage 1. They called it DCIS breast cancer, and if you're going to have breast cancer, this is the best kind. He actually took it pretty well. He was strong and supportive and comforted me. He assured me everything was going to be ok.
The people who did not take it well were other family members and friends. It is amazing how when this stuff finally happens to YOU, you tend to be calm and collected. But deep down, I was scared. I promised myself I was going to stay positive and get through this.
I found all this out December 9th, right before Christmas. Ugh. I am such a Christmas fanatic and love to decorate and celebrate the holidays with zesto. Not that year. It put gloom on everything. I could not get into seeing a surgeon till after Christmas. The waiting is the hardest part! I wanted this cancer gone now! When I consulted with the surgeon, he said he was entirely booked till the 27th. So, that was the day I scheduled for surgery. My husband said that was probably good because getting surgery after Christmas meant they would give me better attention. Everyone is so hurried before Christmas and anxious to have time off. So, I did everything in my power to relax and be calm and enjoy the holidays (easier said than done).
The day finally came, and we had to check into the hospital around 6 am. We waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity, then they finally wheeled me into a room to get me prepped. First, I had to go down to mammography to get a long needle put into my breast so it would be a guide for the surgeon. That was horrible. But the worst part was, after it was inserted, I had to go back to my waiting room and wait for another 3 hours before surgery. It was so uncomfortable laying there with that needle in my chest. My husband and son were trying to cheer me up and make me laugh, but laughing made it hurt.
The nurse finally came in to get me and they took me into the operating room. The nurses and anesthesiologist were so nice and kind. I knew everything was going to be fine. While the nurse was putting the oxygen mask on me, I whispered, "Take good care of me." And they certainly did. Lights out.....
I woke up in a recovery room feeling nauseated but to a friendly familiar face of a woman that I had played Bunco with. The first words out of my mouth were,
"Hey! You are my Bunco buddy!" LOL She said,
"I thought you looked familiar!"
I am sure I did not look like my usual self with that gorgeous cap on my head with no makeup and that lovely hospital gown. I felt like a rock star....NOT.
The surgery went great and the Dr. greeted me in my room to let me know what all he did. He removed tissue the size of a golf ball from my breast that surrounded those calcifications. Then he removed a few lymph nodes under my right arm pit. They tested the tissue and it came out negative. Everything looked clean! But he wanted to discuss radiation with me in the near future, but I had to go home and heal for at least 6 weeks. I went home with a drain attached to me, and that was a struggle. I could not get the bandaging wet, plus I had to keep that drain in for about 10 days.
You can't keep a good girl down. I am not one to sit around and do nothing. I am constantly on the go and being productive. But it was vital that I stay down and do what the Dr. said. I was not able to go sing for my seniors or volunteer at the school where my son went. I hated it. But it gave me a lot of time to re-group myself and plan for my future.
When I was healed from the surgery, I was ready to start 6 weeks of radiation. That was the worst part of all. The staff at the cancer center were all very sweet and compassionate, so that made it easier. They warned me that I may burn badly because I am so fair skinned, and also get very fatigued. The first week was a breeze and I thought it would be no problem. By the second week, I started to feel tired. The third week, I was getting very burned under my arm. By the 4th week, the burn under my arm was so burned that it was turning purple. They gave me some salve to put on it, plus I was putting aloe vera gel on constantly. Week 6 finally came and went, and I was DONE.
Luckily, the burn never blistered. I think it was because of all the stuff I was constantly putting on it. When the 6 weeks were up, I was so glad it was all over. My arm pit hurt terribly. I could not sleep at night or even wear a bra. But all of this kicked my butt into thinking I needed to adopt a healthier lifestyle. No more fooling around. I wanted to start exercising and eating right. My radiation ended in March, then by April, I was ready to kick it onto gear. That is when I found Zumba. :)
I instantly fell in love with this program. It was fun AND I was getting exercise. I started seeing the weight come off, plus I was able to go out and dance every night! My life was starting to turn around for the better. My eating went good for a while, then I slipped back into some bad habits, but continued to do Zumba everyday. I did not want this cancer to come back. However, I did find out that on my biological dad's side that there were several women who had breast cancer, so that is where I got it. Then this past March, I decided once again I was going to eat clean. I have had a few bumps in the road, but that will not stop me.
Since my breast cancer scare, I have been back for 2 mammograms. One was 6 months after my radiation ended and then just a few days ago. The one right after radiation gave me another scare. They called me back to get more pictures, saying that they saw something again. Oh no. Here we go again. But the calcification they saw was from healing and radiation and was benign. Thank the Lord! Then I went in just a few days ago for another 6 month check up. Actually it was more like 9 months later because I kept putting it off. It is very nerve wracking. But it came out clean, and I am celebrating life! Life is good and I want to celebrate and keep dancing and living healthy. Never take anything for granted!
Sorry this is so long, but it is something I knew I would finally have to share with you all. I always like to keep things positive in my life, but I truly believe this was an experience to help me grow and steer me in the right direction.
"....and now I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss
The Dance"
Garth Brooks
Always stay postive and keep dancing! :)
Here is my menu for this day:
Breakfast-
1 bowl creamy buckwheat cereal with chopped pecans and almond milk
1 c. green tea
32 oz water
Mid-morning snack
Hard boiled egg
1 c. green tea
16 oz water
Lunch-
Tuna salad on one piece of whole grain bread
2 sliced kiwi fruit
16 oz water
Mid-afternoon snack-
1/4 c. cashews
1/4 c. raisins
16 oz water
Dinner-
4 oz. baked salmon
1/2 sweet potato
1 c. boiled cabbage
16 oz water
After-dinner snack-
2 c. air-popped popcorn
